Bathroom cleaning by a loser in Baltimore, Maryland For Sale

i am a married man who wants to clean bathrooms for other Superior Men.....for free.
You can lock me in and hold my keys and wallet until the job is done,
If You have any shoes or boots that need shined, just toss them into the bathroom and i will lick the soles and heels and soles clean.....? no matter how many pairs.
And of course, feel free to take pictures of me being used.